Sunday, January 1, 2017

How Can the Medical Field Be This Diabolical?

I don't know of many people who really like going to the doctor. Now and then you might find a nice doctor who can make the whole experience less miserable, but that's about the most you can expect.  Occasionally, you have to buck up and go to a doctor no matter what.

They will poke and prod you whether you feel sick or not.  Then they tell you they will send you the results, but you don't know when that will actually happen. What comes next is the waiting.  At first, you are glad to not hear anything because it must mean that nothing is wrong. You're waiting for the results to come in the mail.  

Then, your day can be going pretty well until you get a phone call from the doctor. You are sure you're going to die now! That's the time they call you and say they would like you to come in for a re-test.  What they should say, is "We would like you to come in for some more torture so we repeat this all over again!"  It's really bad when they call you to say they want to go over your results and to please make an appointment as soon as possible.  You're certain that you're already dead!  

Eventually you go to the doctor to get the test results.  You've restored the blood that you had sucked out of you a long time ago, but now it's as if your very own blood gets to talk smack to you.  These people!  What measures they will go to just to inform you that you are sub-par. 

In this world where the word positive is overused, we still expect it to be something that will make things better.  With one exception.  That exception is, you guessed it...the medical field.  This is where it gets really diabolical!  Put it in reverse, now!  Where else do you not want to hear the word positive? Can't they come up with a better word than positive when they diagnose you with a disease you would never want or perhaps have never even heard of?  I want to know! 

"Let's turn that smile upside down!" is something you just don't hear anywhere else!  Who ever thought accentuating the negative was a good thing?  Medical results seem to operate that way.   So, when it comes to your experiences with the medical field, please understand when I wish you all the negativity that's available.  Celebrate the negative.  Be happy!

Friday, December 30, 2016

Aisle Zero! We Have a Problem!

We've all been there.  You've probably been in a hurry to grab some items at the grocery store.  You know you might as well get a cart because there will be more items to buy than you first planned on purchasing.  So you pull out a cart and start on your merry way.  

After you've gotten into the shopping mode, you realize that you got one of those carts! Oh no!  You know which cart I'm talking about it.  That one that is fulfilling its dream of being a percussion instrument with a wheel creating an annoying beat.  Sometimes they are also doing their best to dance as a result of a wobbly wheel.  Almost a triple threat!

Then you begin determining just how annoying it is.  I'm not sure at what point in time or the location in the store is that you decide if you want to get another cart or not.  First you go through a form of a weight lifting exercise with the cart to diagnose if the level of annoyance and if it is coming from the back or the front of the cart.  Is it the left side or the right side?  Popping wheelies is more fun with bikes than with grocery carts.

If you have decided you're trading in the cart, you go back to all of the carts and put a few carts through a choreographic audition before you give a sigh of relief and start all over.  If you decided that you don't have time to mess with returning the cart, you have also prepared yourself for stares or smirks from other people who you aren't quite sure whether they are laughing at you or with you.  You know that they have been in your shoes!  Shame on them! So you smile or stare at the floor.

I got one of these carts once.  My husband is not musically inclined so he had no idea what I was talking about when I said, "Hear that?  It sounds like the beginning of the William Tell Overture!"  It almost made it fun to have this funky cart!  Ta-duh-da-dum, Ta-duh-da-dum like a steady drumbeat throughout the store.  I wanted so badly to burst out in song with the next few notes! Ta-duh-dum-dum-dum.  No more that than, however.

I think we really need to find a solution to this problem.  You've seen those flags that people carry to help them be noticed when they cross a street.  Why couldn't they just have those available to put on a cart to either warn the next person wanting to have a pleasant shopping experience or to at least serve as a message without you having to yell, "Somebody fix this stupid cart!"